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Saturday, March 07, 2009

Cinderella Syndrome

"Cinderella Syndrome" occurs when women are more in love with the idea of marriage in a greater degree than love for the person which seems to promise marital bliss to her--a fairy tale.

I used to think "settling" would be comparable to a woman selecting the chicken meal that's ready now rather than wait for salmon (and chocolate mousse) that isn't ready yet--simply because she's consumed with the idea with being full now. The underlying fear that the salmon might not come is why she settles...err...selects the chicken.

But the problem with this analogy is that a chicken meal is nourishing even if it's not as yummy as salmon. Even more, this analogy supports the misconception that only marriage will bring the nourishment many women long for and that marriage later rather than sooner is the best arrangement.

A better analogy for women "settling" is the intoxication of alcohol. While intoxicated, everything seems fine; we're happy. We don't want the feeling to go away so we keep drinking. But the feeling will eventually will go away. It's not filling; it's not sustainable; it's not nourishing.
But the Lord knows we cannot live on Champaign all our life, and that if this emotional high were indefinitely maintained no one would ever get anything done, nor would they be able to think about the practical considerations that are necessary for raising and supporting a family. From "The Way of a Man with a Maid: A Response to the Courtship & Betrothal Movements" (PDF) by Robin Philips
If a woman marries, who she marries is the most important decision she will make in her lifetime. This person will guide how she will live the rest of her life. He will either be a support, or drag her to the bottom of the ocean of the cares of this world.